I began doing self breast exams about three years prior to discovering a lump near my left breast in 2011. Around February of 2011, I started feeling a throbbing sensation whenever I would lay down in bed. One evening my husband and I were settling down to watch a movie and while he was preparing the movie, I decided to do my self breast exam. During the exam, I felt a small, soft, moveable mass about the size of a quarter at the base of my left breast, near the rib cage area. I told my husband about it and he said that I should make an appointment with my doctor immediately.
Before I go any further with this part of my story, let’s press the “rewind button.” Let me start by giving you a little background about my lifestyle before the diagnosis in 2011.
Prior to being diagnosed in 2011, I lived a very stressful life. I was the mother of two young children who demanded my time, care and attention. I worked full time in a very stressful work environment, my diet was unhealthy and to top all of this off, my marriage was falling apart. In essence, I lived my life in 5th gear all of the time.
After work, I usually did not have the energy to cook. Therefore, I would take my weekly grocery shopping trips, usually on Sunday, where I would load my basket with a lot of precooked and processed foods that were filled with sugar and fat. I did not pack lunches for work. Therefore, I would frequent fast food restaurants at lunch time.
I was 41 years old and perimenopausal. Being perimenopausal came with its own set of problems and issues. I was moody, cranky, filled with anxiety about EVERYTHING and hormonally out of wack. To say the least, I was physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally unhealthy. I had no balance in my life. I felt like my life was spinning out of control and that there was nothing that I could do to stop it. It felt like I was sad all of the time, weepy all of the time, tired all of the time and mad all of the time. Nothing seemed to be satisfying. I was EMPTY.
As a result of that “present” reality, I just knew that “something” was going to happen to me health wise. It was like I was paralyzed by this thought because although I felt this way, I also felt that I was powerless, and that I could do nothing to stop that “something” from happening. Needless to say, when I received the phone call from the breast specialist on March 1, 2011, telling me that the lump in my left breast was malignant, I was not totally shocked.
As I am writing this post, I am forced to reflect back on that time, and after reading what was just written, I totally feel sorry for the person that I was in 2011. Unfortunately, my state of being at that time, is a mere reflection of so many other women today. Maybe even you.
Sometimes, life can come at us so fast, so strong and so ABRUPTLY. We are bombarded by information and as a result of that information, we are pressed to make choices and decisions for ourselves, and if you are mother, for your children as well. Many times, we find ourselves doing everything in our OWN POWER to stay afloat. We juggle the kids, we try to make our marriages and other relationships work, we try to do extra on the job so that no one could ever accuse us of “slacking,” we go to church each week to pay our respect to God, we meditate, we pray five times a day, we do yoga, workout, read self-help books, go to the spa, binge watch our favorite t.v shows in order to relax (if time permits), have that glass of wine after work to unwind, we feverishly search for and try to achieve balance in our lives, knowing all the while that we are completely EMPTY and DEPLETED. We have nothing else to give. Our bodies suffer, when our SPIRITUAL selves are SICK.
This is why I believe that we can find no better balance than to firmly plant our feet upon the words given to us by God in His love letter to us. The Holy Bible. Proverbs 3:5-6 of the Holy Bible New International Version (NIV) says, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
Jesus invites us into His presence. Matthew 11:28 says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” He invites us to experience full and total peace. Isaiah 26:3 says, “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” He also says in Philippians 4:6, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present our requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
In fact, Jesus even seeks us out. He comes to the home of our hearts and knocks. “Revelation 3:20 says, “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.” Jesus and Jesus alone can calm the storm that is raging within our spirit, within our soul. Mark 4:39 records, “He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was COMPLETELY CALM.”
I know that His peace works! I know that He is able to calm the storm! Without Him, I know that I would not have made it through all of the tests, surgeries, chemo and everything else that I had to endure in 2011 and am currently enduring in 2016.
I invite you to take a step toward Him. Toward His peace. If this is all new to you and especially if you do not know who God or Jesus is, I know that what I am inviting you to do may seem very strange. Nonetheless, I invite you to CHALLENGE yourself.
The first CHALLENGE is to admit that you do not know who God or Jesus is, but that you are willing to try Him. If you are interested in inviting Jesus to take over your problems and to give you a TRUE BREAK from them, please do not hesitate to email me personally at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will start you on your way to emotional freedom through Christ!
Do not think that I have forgotten to tell you the rest of my story. I have not. You will just have to stay tuned until the next post! 🙂
Be blessed and have a great, wonderful and terrific week! Please feel free to comment, post or email me. Ciao! ♥